53 Things All Women Should Remember | Emily Bashforth

53 Things All Women Should Remember


Being a woman isn't easy, especially in such a patriarchal society. Life in general isn't easy and it's okay to stumble sometimes and look in the direction of others for advice. I wanted to remind my fellow women of fifty three things which should always be in their minds. I want to tell you these things to help you live a happy, prosperous life as a woman despite the world wishing to silence you and constrain your ability to achieve your dreams.

1) If you exist in this world and you identify as a woman, then you are a real woman.
2) Your body belongs to you and no one has the right to tell you what to do with it. Your body, your choice.
3) Your value is not based on your sexual history. You do not become devalued through having sex.
4) Your sensitivity is nothing to feel ashamed of. Never apologise for being compassionate or for feeling things too much. It's amazing that you are so in tune with our body and care about things so deeply.
5) Consent is always necessary and you have the right to say no and should never have to explain your reasons for doing so.
6) You are worthy of respect, regardless of what line of work you are in.
7) Your body is not too big, too small, to tall, too short, to dark, too light...it is the vessel of a precious life and that is everything.
8) You are allowed to defend yourself. Tell people to leave you alone when you feel uncomfortable and stick up for yourself when you are being attacked. Just because you are a woman, it doesn't mean you just have to "get on with it."
9) You are worthy of self love, regardless of the way others treat you.
10) Feminism is intersectional. If your feminism doesn't include all races, genders and sexualities then it is not feminism at all.
11) If you wish to have children, that's great, if you don't then that is great too. Never feel pressured to start a family.
12) You are not an object. Know your worth.
13) Feel confident in your own skin. Loving yourself is not arrogant, it's necessary.
14) How you act or what you wear does not define you as a woman.
15) If you want to shave, shave. If you don't want to shave, don't shave.
16) Accept compliments, don't brush them off or deny them! You deserve to be complimented.
17) You are allowed to be openly sexual and expressive with your body. Celebrate it, embrace your womanhood and don't allow anyone to silence your seductiveness.
18) Whatever you were wearing, it was not your fault.
19) Don't slut shame your fellow women. There is no such thing as a slut and slut shaming is tacky.
20) You are allowed to conform to stereotypes in the same way that you are allowed to challenge them. Just do you!
21) You are allowed to question your sexual orientation and experiment in the way that men do.
22) You are worthy of receiving equal pay for doing the same jobs as a man.
23) Removing yourself from toxic environments is vital and you should never be afraid to let go of relationships that are no longer healthy.
24) Mental illness is nothing to be ashamed of and it is not a sign of weakness, but rather strength, especially as the world makes it so difficult for women to sustain happiness. Remember, you are not alone.
25) Fighting the patriarchy is exhausting, but it's important. The patriarchy wants to shrink you, don't let it. Instead, use it as fuel to challenge it.
26) Your mental health, happiness and well-being should always be your number one priority.
27) People will always try to plant seeds in your head to make you believe that you are not capable of success. Ignore them. Keep pushing forwards and working hard. Whatever you are fighting for, keep fighting for it. Scare people.
28) Support your fellow women and uplift them whenever possible. They are your sisters, not your competitors. Get out of the habit of being critical of other women's lifestyles.
29) You do not owe anybody anything. Don't let them think you do.
30) Be independent. You are capable of it!
31) Trans women are not a fetish. Their identity is simply who they are and they (you) are worthy of respect.
32) You do not have to be modest in order to be respected. Modesty empowers some, nudity empowers others. Regardless, you deserve respect.
33) Your rights are human rights and equal rights for others does not mean less rights for you. Some people are just so used to privilege that, when you speak out against your oppression, they feel as though they are being discriminated against.
34) You have a voice - use it! When women unite and speak out, wonderful things can happen. Never remain silent just because you think your opinion doesn't matter. Trust me, it does.
35) Don't let unrealistic beauty standards hold you back from living your life to the full. You are fabulous just the way you are.
36) Support young girls and remind them that they are the future. The future lawyers, doctors, scientists, musicians, artists...all too often, the world diminishes young girls so, instead, empower them.
37) You are allowed to change. Nobody stays the same forever and evolving is necessary. You will grow as a person throughout your life and that is perfectly okay. Take time to reflect upon your self growth because everything you've been through has shaped you into the person you are today.
38) Just as nobody stays the same forever, no body stays the same forever. Your body at 60 is not supposed to look as it did when you were 16.
39) You are allowed to be interested in politics, sports, current affairs and social issues as well as clothes, shoes and make-up.
40) Your period is nothing to be ashamed of.
41) Surround yourself with people who bring out the best in you and who add value to your life, not those who bring you down in order to feel better about themselves.
42) Wear what you want and don't let your fear of judgement from others control you.
43) Forgive yourself. Making mistakes is normal and recognising this is an important step on your journey to healing.
44) Never feel as though you have to be in a relationship. You are just as valuable when you are single as when you are not.
45) Don't fat shame or skinny shame and disguise them as "health concerns." Likewise, do not allow yourself to be fat or skinny shamed. Your size does not make you any less lovable. Only shower other peoples bodies with adoration, including your own.
46) Someone elses beauty is not in the absence of your own. Seeing other women as more valuable than you is self destructive. It is possible to admire them without questioning yourself.
47) Dress to express, not to impress. Dress for yourself and to admire your own reflection as you pass shop windows.
48) Being yourself is the most wonderful thing that you can be.
49) J.K Rowling went through hell and back before she became the mega book goddess she is today and she was 32 when she had her first book published. Good things may take time buy they will happen.
50) Food is your friend, not your mortal enemy. Establish a loving, healthy relationship with it.
51) You are under no obligation to be nice to anyone. Be kind, but not always nice when you feel in danger. A woman does not have to be passive.
52) Your mother and grandmother are rich with stories. Allow them to pass on their pearls of wisdom to you and absorb what advice they have to give.
53) Never feel embarrassed by your intelligence. A wise woman is a force to be reckoned with.

Love, Emily :) xx

0 comments: