15 Myths & Stereotypes About Bisexuals That Need To Be Dispelled | Emily Bashforth

15 Myths & Stereotypes About Bisexuals That Need To Be Dispelled


The bisexual community are subject to prejudice and harmful stereotypes at all times, both in real life, in fiction and within the media. These stereotypes have been used so much that it can be difficult to dispel them or to make someone see why the preconceptions they have of bisexuals are false.
Contrary to the beliefs of some, the bisexual community are just as valid as any other community on the LGBTQ+ spectrum - there's a B in there for a reason! Therefore, it is important that we continue the discussion surrounding sexuality to annihilate hateful myths and stereotypes so that bisexual people can feel loved and safe. Some bisexual people may choose to use stereotypes in a playful way or between them and another bisexual community but this doesn't make it acceptable for anyone else to use stereotypes against them. Therefore, we must all ensure we educate ourselves on how we can be supportive to those in the LGBTQ+ community and call people out when they mistreat it's members.
In order to start the conversation, I've compiled a list of some myths and common misconceptions people have about bisexuals that we need to stop reinforcing so we can end biphobia. All of them are pretty stupid.

1) Bisexuals are greedy
I feel like this is one of the most common stereotypes about bisexuality and it could not be less true. Being bisexual simply means that one has the capacity to fall for both men and women, it doesn't mean that they are automatically attracted to everyone. A bisexual person is just as capable of not being attracted to someone as any straight person. They don't want to hook up with anything that has a pulse.

2) Bisexuals are indecisive and confused
A lot of people assume that those who identify as bisexual just cannot make up their minds about whether they're gay or straight when, the truth is, they are neither. Some bisexuals may have been confused in the past and may just still be coming to terms with their identity, therefore, you calling them 'confused' doesn't help them on their journey so self acceptance and confusion isn't just a trait that comes with being bisexuals. The fact that bisexuals do actually come out as bi and are able to recognise that that's what they are is admirable, brave and far from indecisive. Bi people are just as capable of making decisions as anyone else. The fact that you think that bi people are confused, actually, only shows that you are the confused one.

3) They'll pick a side eventually
It's as if people think bi people just come out as bi whilst they're trying to decide whether they're gay or straight. The world isn't black and white, we don't need to be attracted solely to me or women. Sure, some bisexual people may later realise that they came out as bi when they were actually either gay or straight, (which is totally fine!) but for the most part, bisexuals are named bisexuals for a reason - they like men and women and you don't need to force them to choose.

4) Bisexuals are promiscuous
Bisexuals are portrayed as sluts, particularly in the media, and whilst some may engage in promiscuous activity, bisexuals aren't just people who like to jump into bed with any breathing human being. They are capable of monogamous relationships and, besides, their sexual activities concern no one other than themselves.

5) Bisexual women only claim to be bi so they can turn on straight guys
This has been known to be true in a very small number of cases, *cough cough* Katy Perry's I Kissed A Girl song *cough cough* but, I can assure you that it is 99.9% false. Lesbian and bisexual women are sexualised constantly, which can be extremely harmful, and the idea that women are just always out to please and attract men is ludicrous. A lot of bisexual women wouldn't touch a lot of straight men with a bargepole. I know that straight men sometimes like to think that everything revolves around them but, sorry, it doesn't.

6) Bisexuality is just a cop out
This is such a harmful stereotype. It's absurd how some people can label bisexuality as "a cop out term" because it's simply a part of who someone is. It's their identity and coming out as bisexual, once again, is brave and to completely belittle someones bravery for coming out is insulting. Bisexuality is a very valid sexuality.

7) Everyone is bisexual
Wrong, again. For one, the bisexual community are marginalised, therefore, no, not everyone is bisexual. Just because some people may make comments about finding both their gender and the opposite gender attractive, that doesn't make them bisexual. For example, girls admiring the beauty of other girls but dating guys or guys admiring another guy's muscles but dating women doesn't mean they are bi. There are a whole range of sexualities out there. Some people are 100% straight, some people are gay, some people are lesbian, some are pansexual...whatever! But no, not everyone is bi and the fact that that is even a view is disturbing.

8) Bisexuality doesn't exist
Yes it does. Next!

9) Bisexuals can never be in a happy, stable relationship
I couldn't tell you the number of bisexual people on the planet who are in happy relationships but I can assure you that it is pretty damn high. Bisexuals are just as capable of securing a stable partnership as anyone of any other sexuality. It's a common misconception that bi people are automatic cheaters but, to reiterate what I said earlier, being bisexual simply means you can be attracted to males and females, not that you're attracted to every male and female. Whilst some bisexual people do cheat, those few cases shouldn't be used to generalise their whole community and besides, straight and gay people can cheat just as much. For the most part, if a bisexual person is with you, then they're with you. They chose your companionship over everyone else's and if you have any doubts about their faithfulness then, frankly, you do not deserve them.

10) Bisexuals aren't even oppressed! They're half straight
Bisexuals, despite being attracted to the opposite gender, are not half straight. They're bisexual. Also, I'm perplexed how anyone could ever claim bisexual people are not oppressed. What planet do you live on? Because if you live on a planet where bisexual people aren't mistreated, can I come and live there too? The bi community are marginalised, hence why events like bisexual visibility day take place and why bisexuals are recognised at pride parades. Bisexual people are oppressed for their sexuality and just because you don't think they are as oppressed as the gay community, that doesn't make it right for you to completely ignore how badly they are sometimes treated. It isn't about comparison. The bottom line is, bisexuality is stereotyped and people experience some truly awful hatred for being bi. I think the fact that I felt the need to write a blog post on the myths surrounding the bi community proves that bisexuals are victims of oppression.

11) You can't identify as bisexual unless you've been in a relationship with both a man and a woman
This is like saying you can't identify as straight unless you've experienced a relationship with someone of the same sex. When you're bisexual, you're born bisexual and no amount of life experiences can change that part of you. It doesn't matter whether a bi person has had more experience with one gender than another, the fact still remains that they are attracted to them both and how a bisexual person chooses to express their bisexuality is up to them.

12) Bisexuals have to be equally attracted to both genders
Some bisexuals are equally attracted to both men and women, however, it isn't always 50/50, an extremely common misconception. Just because someone doesn't like men as much as they like women, or vice versa, that doesn't mean their bisexuality is invalid. Bisexuals have the ability to be attracted to both men and women in some way but it can't be helped if they find one more attractive than the other. It also doesn't make them "basically straight" or "basically gay." They're still bi.

13) Bisexuals just want attention
Sure, attention is good, everyone loves a bit of attention now and again, but what bisexual people really want is respect, acceptance and recognition. They want visibility after being swept under the rug for so long and not being seen. Bisexuality is just as valid as any other sexuality and coming out as bi isn't something people do for fun. In many cases, it takes a great deal of courage and often comes with unwanted attention. The bisexual community just want to have the freedom to live their lives in peace and to love who they choose without being discriminated against. They want to be seen as a valued member of society who is more than their sexuality.

14) Bisexuals love threesomes
Again, some probably do, but a lot also do not. Bisexuals don't exist simply for the sexual pleasures of others and if you're thinking of asking a bi person to accompany both you and your partner in the bedroom, I wouldn't bother as, chances are, they couldn't be less interested.

15) Bisexual people don't need to come out - they can just pretend to be straight
Forcing someone into the closet in this way is insane. Bisexuals shouldn't feel pressured to do or pretend to be anything other than themselves. Sometimes, people don't come out, like, at all, which is cool. Some people do come out though. The point is, it's their choice how they choose to live with their sexuality. And, if a bisexual person does come out, telling them they shouldn't have done so can very harmful. When someone comes out to you, you should appreciate their bravery and ensure they know that you fully support them. Shower them with love. I agree that it would be nice to live in a world where people don't feel closeted or as if they need to come out but, for now, we do.

What do you think are the most comon stereotypes surrounding bisexuals? <3

Love, Emily :) xx

0 comments: