The day is Friday 12th May 2017. The time is 11:55am. I am sitting upright in bed, scrolling through Twitter on my phone with sweaty palms whilst anxiously biting my lip and constantly checking the time out of hope that another minute will have passed by. I am counting down to midnight. It isn't Christmas Eve, nor is it New Year's Eve, in fact, it's a normal Friday to most but, to me, and to millions of others across the globe, midnight on Friday 12th May is about to be the sheer pinnacle of my existence thus far.

At 11:56am I put my earphones in. At 11:57am I open up iTunes out of hope that something might have happened. At 11:58am I Tweet "OMG THIS IS IT." At 11:59am I shake uncontrollably. As the clock hits 12:00am, I close my eyes, I take one last deep breath in, and I prepare to press play.
I've been waiting for this moment for what feels like a lifetime. I was waiting for it before I even knew that I was waiting for it. Now, it is finally here and it just doesn't seem real. So much adrenaline and excitement have been flowing through my veins for months as I counted down to this very moment and it's almost as if, now that is has arrived, I don't know what to do with myself. It's almost as if I don't want it to happen, simply because, once it's happened, it's over. Once I press play and listen for the very first time, I won't be able to press play for the very first time ever again. This is a once in a lifetime thing and I want to cherish it with all my heart. But, as sweaty and my palms are and as laboured as my breathing is, I want this to happen, because I know it's going to be amazing and it is going to fill me with an indescribable amount of joy. So many emotions and thoughts are within me, I feel so nervous yet so excited, so dangerously unprepared yet so ready. My finger hovers over the play button. It starts.

Harry Styles, the self-titled debut solo album from Harry Styles, was released into the world on 12th May and it changed my life for the better. It has been seven years since I became a One Direction and, therefore, a Harry fan. The time seems to have flown by because he is no longer a sixteen year old curly haired student who works in a bakery at the weekend and wears purple supras and chinos. He has blossomed into a kind, talented, soulful singer songwriter who looks mighty fine in Gucci and has embarked on what is already a successful solo career following five years as a member of the world's most successful boy band. I've watched him evolve into an artist in his own right and, day by day, I have witnessed the world fall more and more in love with him and his shining personality. I've been by his side through the happy and sad times that he chose to share with me, as his fan, and I've felt so blessed during each one that he has allowed me a small glimpse into his life.
Now, he's allowing me to see further into his life with his album. Harry's album is a real piece of him. Throughout his promo, he's been really open about the fact that, through these songs, he is sharing things he hasn't shared before. It's no secret that Harry is a private person and, therefore, when he does choose to put things out in the open, it's for a reason. He isn't someone who updates his followers constantly on what he's eating for breakfast and he isn't someone who spills the goss on his relationships every chance he gets. He's a closed book, to the public, which I like because it means that, when little pieces of him are revealed, they're all the more special. Harry's album is self titled and rightly so because it really is just Harry. Sure, he wrote it and provided the vocals, but it's also Harry's stories, his thoughts, his emotions, his experiences, his observations, his opinions and his ideas. This album is so raw, so soul-baring and it exposes Harry in a way that he has never been exposed before. It must be terrifying, when you think about it, putting yourself out there in such a vulnerable way like that for millions of people, who already have you placed firmly on a pedestal, to judge you. The world has high expectations of Harry, in everything he does. He always exceeds them, of course, but, I'm sure it doesn't come without fear, therefore, I admire him for that, for having the confidence to share such a deep, personal part of his identity with millions of people who he will never meet. I couldn't do it.

The build up to this album was intense but I was certain there was to be no anticlimax. A few songs and snippets were released here and there in order to ease fans in gently and give the world a taster of what was to come on 12th May. All of them sounded so different yet just as brilliant as each other, meaning my excitement to hear the other tracks on the record was at an all time high. Nothing could've prepared me for my first time listening to Harry Styles. As a fangirl through and through, I over exaggerate and freak out about things way more than I should do anyway, but the hype surrounding this album was crazy and, honestly, I couldn't believe I was going to actually be able to listen to a solo Harry Styles album. After following him for so long and adoring every inch of his existence for years now, him releasing a solo album filled me with so much pride and I was probably more excited than he was for the world to hear what he has to offer and to finally start appreciating his talents. Harry's always been a superstar, it's just a shame that it was never noted by the general public as much as it should've been, simply because he was in a boyband and most of his fans were teenage girls. No one took any notice because, apparently, nothing which teenage girls enjoy is credible but, now, it seems the planet is finally awake and willing to appreciate Harry Styles, the artist. They're here for his lyrics, his stories, his vocals, his heart, they're willing to give up their time for him, which he deserves, because musicians like Harry Styles ought to be showered with praise and support, always.

The first time I listened to Harry's album, I did it in the way I felt was most appropriate, which was from start to finish. I began at track one and ended by listening to track ten as I knew this was to be a wonderful, unique experience for me, therefore, I wanted to truly take advantage of what I was getting to listen to and do it properly. I wanted to fully immerse myself in the album and just let it consume my entire being for forty two minutes and, after the experience was over, I felt as though I'd been on a journey. This album takes you to places albums don't tend to take you to. It encourages you to think about things, ponder your own experiences and just kind of sit and evaluate life. The first time listening to any album is special but I feel like listening to this one was unlike anything else I've ever experienced. I felt so many emotions and barely had time to comprehend the first before I was feeling something totally different during the next song. I cried throughout the whole thing, out of pride and just due to the fact that I was so overwhelmed with what was happening. Sometimes, the tears were happier during the upbeat songs and, sometimes, they were out of heartbreak as I listened to the more sombre songs with lyrics that were utterly soul shattering to say the least.



This album isn't the kind of album everyone is releasing into the charts at the moment. It isn't bubblegum pop or a compilation of songs about going out to clubs and getting high because Harry didn't want to write about that and I'm so glad he did things differently because it's so refreshing. This is my kind of album and is something I would certainly buy, had it not been released by one of my favourite stars. I love the old school sounds and how Harry's influences are so clear. He has brought an old style of music back to a new generation. I cannot fault a single lyric, let alone a single song, as each line has been so carefully crafted and nothing has just been throw in there for the sake of making the track three minutes long. Every line in every track now holds a dear place in my heart as, when listening to them, it stood out to me instantly that Harry had spilled his soul into every syllable. Some songs may seem self explanatory, some may be a little more ambiguous and more difficult to decipher the meaning of but what I really love is that this album is for everyone. Whether you'd consider yourself a Harry fan or not, there's a song on here for you to fall in love with as everything can be interpreted in your own personal way and related to your own experiences. Harry often writes metaphorically, which I love, as it makes his songs so much more enchanting to me and allows me to connect with them even more. Everyone has their own theories on what his songs mean and some are extremely juxtaposing, however, despite what different opinions people have on the stories behind the songs, the songs themselves bring people together. They unite people who are not just hardcore Harry followers but people who just genuinely love music.


This album has brought such positivity and light into my life in such a short space of time and so I can only imagine how much more joy it shall fill me with in the coming months. There was no doubt in my mind that this album was going to become one of my all time favourite records, however, as anything Harry Styles related fills me with purpose and contentment. A lot of people have waited a long time for this album and now it's out in the open, inspiring, uplifting, connecting and fulfilling people in so many ways. This is more than an album, it's a work of art and, more significantly, marks the first chapter Harry's solo career. I can't wait to see what he goes on to achieve from here. I have no idea as to what else he has planned but I sincerely hope that everything he does brings him success, love and joy because a person who brings such beauty into society deserves to feel nothing but utter happiness within their own lives.



Now, allow me to talk about each track from the album individually. Actually, first of all, let's address the appearance of the album. I have the limited edition photo version of the album and therefore have the hard copy of the CD, the 32 page booklet with photos from Harry's recording session in Jamaica inside, along with four large photos of him from the album photoshoot, all of which I shall treasure for eternity. I feel it's important to acknowledge the aesthetics of the album because so much has gone into producing it. Not only does it sound good, but it looks stunning. The album cover is so raw and presents Harry as not only starting afresh, but also as vulnerable and offering his heart out to the world. The colours are beautiful and just the general design of the CD really shows off how much of an artist Harry is, as he isn't one to do anything half-heartedly. The look of  the album makes it feel so expensive (WHICH IT WAS BECAUSE HARRY LIKES HIS FANS TO BE POOR FOR SOME REASON) but so sentimental and as something I shall be digging out of a box to play for my grandchildren in the future. As for the songs, I'm not a music critic, I don't write reviews for a living, and I'm not going to review them, I simply want to talk about how they make me feel and why I think they're so glorious. This isn't from the perspective of a music mogul, my thoughts on each song are just that, mine, from the point of view of a fan who is so deeply in love with what one of their idols has created and wishes for everyone to appreciate the masterpiece he has given birth to.