You're Seeing Yourself Wrong | Emily Bashforth

You're Seeing Yourself Wrong



Have you ever thought that maybe, just maybe, you're looking at yourself in completely the wrong way? Have you ever thought that perhaps you are totally different to how you think? Well, I'm here to tell you something. You do not look how you think you look and you are not who you think you are.
We have a very distorted view of who we are. We wake up each morning and look in the mirror, stare at our reflections for an abnormal amount of time, begin to feel a little bit worse about ourselves and then go about our day, always having that horrid feeling on the inside that we look horrible and aren't acting like we're supposed to, and it sucks.
But, I want you to know that your opinion of the reflection you see in the mirror does not define you. Its natural to not like how you look. Our favourite things are always the new things. We buy a new pair of jeans and they're our favourite pair of jeans, we buy a new album and its our favourite album, we buy a new book and its our favourite book, our favourite things are never the old things that we are used to. We have looked at ourselves in the mirror every single day for years. We are so used to it that it's old. We don't notice it changing or growing, because we're used to it. It isn't shiny or new so it isn't our favourite thing to see. But it should be our favourite thing, because old things are just as, if not more, precious than brand spanking new things that can go out of fashion within a matter of weeks.

I understand, you look in the mirror and think you're "too fat" or "too skinny" or too this, or too that, or you stare at yourself for so long that you begin to pick out flaws that don't even exist. As the days go by, you slowly but surely become more and more certain that you look 'wrong' and become fixated with the idea of needing to look a certain way. It is physically impossible to go about your day these days, without coming across photos of other people online, whether that be selfies on Instagram, photoshoots in magazines, newspapers, and you get it into your head that these photos are of people looking right, and make you believe that you are even more wrong. But let me tell you something, every one of those images in that magazine have been photoshopped to the moon and back. Their skin has been airbrushed, their thighs have been slimmed, their lips have been made bigger. Every one of those selfies from Instagram that you have saved on your phone just to look at and feel sad. has had at least five different filters applied to it because, let's face it, nobody posts anything on Instagram any more if they don't think they look their best. Every one of those photos in that newspaper have been strategically chosen. They won't publish the photos of someone with three chins, they'll publish the one where they look 'perfect.'
These images in the media are ruining your perception of yourself, don't give them that power.

I want you to do something for me. Don't stop appreciating the beauty of others, don't quit Instagram, don't stop reading magazines and crushing on your favourite celebrities, but do start to STOP questioning the beauty of yourself when admiring that of others. It's amazing that we live in a world where people are so loving and dish out compliments left right and centre on a daily basis, telling their favourite celebrities that they are 'goals,' their outfit is 'on point' and they are 'so perfect,' but start to tell yourself these things too.
The next time you look in the mirror, do so with pride and don't let it be a chore. 

You need to realise that, the way you see yourself isn't always the way that you actually are. You are not "too fat" or "too skinny." You are not too this or too that. You are the epitome of beauty and have every right to believe so. Don't let that reflection in that mirror destroy you. Because that's all you see of yourself, a reflection. You, sadly, do not have the honour of seeing yourself 24/7 and when you are just going about your day. Sadly, other people get the privilege of seeing you laugh, seeing you walking down the street, seeing you talk about things you love and sadly they cannot change the way you see yourself, its up to you. You need to decide that the way you are looking at yourself is the wrong way to look at yourself. You need to take it upon yourself to force yourself to believe that you have a shining, amazing personality and everyone is lucky to have you in their lives.

No, you can never look like your favourite model, actor or singer but why would you want to? The images you see of them are the images they want you to see, you don't see them when they're just like you. We've all done it, we sit in our pyjamas, probably with messy hair, eating junk food and we're admiring photos of models on a catwalk wearing a full face of make-up, designer clothes, with hair perfectly styled by a professional. How ludicrous is that? Why on Earth do we compare other people's highlights reel to our behind the scenes? That model probably looks no different to you when they're at home, in their pyjamas. Really, we're all the same but, sadly, we see ourselves as polar opposites to people in the spotlight. Nobody is perfect, but that's what makes us all perfect.

Please, believe in your beauty, see yourself as a star, look at yourself and think 'hey, you know what, I'm a good person and I look amazing.' Make yourself feel amazing and stop looking at yourself in completely the wrong way.

Now, go look at yourself, long and hard, take a few selfies, pose in the mirror, tell yourself that, from now on, you are going to appreciate every ounce of your being and you're going to stop being so hard on yourself. It really isn't worth it.



Love Emily :) xx

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